Posts Tagged With: disappointment

Janathon Day 16

It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want. – Unknown

January 16 Run: 8 min, 1 km, 8’06″/km (iPod)
janathon day 16

My question tonight should be, how did I run 8 minutes on the treadmill and the treadmill tell me I’m running 7’56″/km pace when I did exactly 8 minutes and exactly 0.62 miles (1 km). My pace should read 8’00″/km on my iPod and Treadmill but both don’t seem to know how to do math. Maybe I’ve been doing math all wrong my entire life? Who knows… who cares.. my bigger question tonight is why am I doing this?! I’m feeling better but soooo exhausted. My 30 minute run was cut down to 8 minutes after having a cough attack, a sneezing fit, my chest hurt/throat was burning so bad from trying to breathe, and then really really had to pee. So, I was weak and after a kilometre I stepped off, ran to the wash-room, did my basic strength exercises and came here to blog. I’m just a little stressed out and I don’t even know why. Work isn’t that stressful. I have the day off tomorrow to visit the U.S. for some shopping. I’m not as sick as I was a few days ago. Today I checked up on a few blogs and they were keeping me motivated all day to get home and get my Janathon janathon-participant-logo  run for Day 16 in. Your blogs are definitely inspirational and helping… Yet here I am, grumpy and grouchy and all I want is to sleep for 24 hours. Maybe it’s time to hibernate?

Sorry for being such a downer tonight; I know I need to be back to my optimistic self to get through this and run some more. I need to run more, I love to run, but I also love sleep… I must not forget, getting a good nights rest and sleep are part of a healthy life.

sleep deprivation

Good night for now.

Happier Running wishes being sent your way!

rundmach

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Winter’s Coming…

Running slow isn’t a character flaw, quitting is. It’s never too cold.

November 21 Run: 30:07 (mm:ss), 3.23 km, 9’19″/km, plus 5 minute warm up & 5 minute cool down

Okay, so my last post I said who cares how slow I go as long as I go. Yes, I still believe that but I also don’t believe that I should be running THIS slow on a treadmill. I’ve never had a run at this pace and still feel I was running. I’m really hating the treadmill right now seeing that I am running 2 minutes slower per km than I am outside and it feels just as tough!! It’s a little depressing seeing on fitness trackers that doing 9 minutes per km is a brisk walk pace and I’m actually running at that pace. Huh?!

running in the coldSo here it is, who cares how cold it is or going to get or how dark it gets, I am running outside!! I will invest and put some money into stupid expensive winter running gear and be prepared. There’s no good routes to run when it’s dark here because the paths are not lit at all. The streets are short and boring but I bet they’re more enjoyable than on the treadmill!! I will figure this out and get outside to complete my runs!

Here’s to wishing happy runs for all of us! 🙂

rundmach

P.S. I completed my cross training again yesterday as per plan with some boxing, stationary cycling, and various strength training exercises.

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I’m Alive

Hi there,

I don’t even know where to begin. It seems I’m always cycling back to writing this message. I appologize in advance as this may come off as a very negative post but it is not, I just need to vent a little. I’m sorry I have not been running or blogging or following your blog. I’m sorry to myself and feel ashamed to consider myself a runner. I am no runner. It has been almost an entire month since my last run. I made every excuse possible to not run. It’s too cold, it’s too dark, I’m in another province (Wahoo, my eldest brother got married and I was away for over a week), etc, etc, etc.

November 10 Run: 35:49 (mm:ss), 4.07 km, 8’47″/km

These stats are based on my Nike+ GPS SportsWatch. I did my first run of the season on my treadmill this morning. I have finally put it together, since moving to my new home back in June, with the support of a great friend. The treadmill stats say I ran less but faster so I’m not even sure what to believe anymore. I’ll stick to the GPS watch as that will be the one constant that will follow me when I do run outdoors.

Mentally, I always want to run and I always feel like it’s the one thing that’s missing in my day. So how is it that I don’t do it and come up with all these excuses? Am I that weak mentally to not be able to push myself? Even today’s run, I followed the treadmill’s running plan to Run hard for 30 seconds (between a 6-7.4 mph pace) and jog/walk for 90 seconds (between 3.9-5 mph pace). My pace for today overall was ridiculously slow. However, I’m not upset about this at all, it is my first run in almost a month! I am just disappointed with always feeling sorry for myself and disappointed I keep finding excuses. What’s wrong with me? I want to do this!! It is tough when I do it, I can’t breathe right still but I love doing it. I love writing my blog and following your blog for inspiration, yet I’ve fallen behind on that as well. If I love to do something so much why do I keep myself away from it? Okay, I get it, I’m just ranting now and need to stop.

On other news, there’s only 4 more weeks until the Santa 5K!!! I’m excited to do this fun run for myself. It feels a little odd not doing fundraising or a charity support on this. It will be fun and probably super cold! If you have a suggested 5k run plan for 4 weeks (or 7 week to the 5K Resolution Run on December 31st), please send it over (dmach88@gmail.com)!! I’m looking to increase my speed as I was running a 5K in around 36-38 minutes. I’d like to be running at the average speeds around 30-35 minutes for a 5k but can’t seem to get myself there. Do you have any good plans?

runcanmoreI’ve been thinking about so many things to write but here I am expressing to you my shame with how I have one again fallen off the tracks. I’m not disappointed with my run today, I am disappointed with all the runs I didn’t do. I was in one of the most beautiful places during my vacation for my brother’s wedding, Banff (where I’d like to retire one day and Canmore, where his wedding actually was). I even brought my running shoes and all my “cold” weather running gear. I did not run. 😦

This post could go on for pages about how disappointed I am and how many runs I have missed; but, I’ll leave it at, I am still very happy with my life and enjoying everything else in my life. Work is a challenge as always and I have not made enough time for my friends but what I do get to do and what I choose to do every day, I am Happy. I need to make more time and create more energy. 🙂

I will end this post with a question to you all, what are your limits? When do you decide it is treadmill time? Is it because it’s pitch black outside by 5 PM before  you even leave work, is it when it falls below 0 degrees celsius? How do you find motivation to run outside? (I want to run outside!! The treadmill was good and comfortable because I was warm, but nothing like being outdoors).

For all my followers, please forgive me.

Sincerely,

rundmach

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“Running” for a Cause

terryHey There!

I wrote about this event over a year ago to be my goal to achieve. It’s now official, I’m signed up and fully in fundraising mode!

On September 15, 2013, I will be taking part in the Terry Fox Run in its ongoing work to fund innovative and progressive cancer research programs. I very much hope you will consider joining the team (if you’re in Canada) or making a donation in support of my effort, confident in the knowledge that your kindness will impact the lives of so many people living with cancer.

This is a Walk, Run, or Wheel event with various distances (depending on the location). I encourage you to join our team, Platinum Stars and walk, run, or wheel to a better future. Distances range from 1k to +10k. A 5K walk takes on average less than an hour and less than 12 minutes to walk 1K. There are so many locations available across Canada: Burlington, Niagara on the Lake, St. Catherine’s, Hamilton x 3, Oakville, Toronto, Calgary, Edmonton, and many more. You can sign up for an event in your local community but be part of the Platinum Stars!!  There is no entry fee or minimum donation required. This is not a timed event. This is simply to raise money, awareness, and come together for a greater cause.

Whatever your ability, do this not only for yourself but for those in need. Spare 12 minutes or an hour of your time for a healthier future for you and those around you. If you’d prefer not to participate, please click here and make a donation to support the team.

In the words of Terry, “If you’ve given a dollar, you are part of the Marathon of Hope .”

Terry Fox ran across Canada – ask any Canadian, he did it! Although the evidence suggest that he may not have completed his personal race, his spirit and determination has been ingrained into Canada and I believe Terry Fox completed his Marathon a day across Canada. A true Canadian Icon, Terry Fox has an amazing story; If you’d like to learn more about Terry Fox or The foundation please visit the LEARN MORE page. He was who I wrote my grade 3 Canadian Hero report on and I couldn’t be happier that each of you do support me on each of my journeys to help others. I am also ecstatic that I have made it this far in a year with your support and encouragement from not running at all to running 10K to support The Terry Fox Foundation.

I hope you will be part of this journey and donate to the team or sign up and raise funds for this organization.

For any donors or participants, I will be doing a raffle for prizes to everyone who’s contributing!!

Brand new items up for grabs in my new Silent Auction in efforts to raise funds includes:  a West 49 Gift Card, Movie Passes, Nixon TPS Speaker,  Red Star Deck,  DC Shoes, a few Long Boards, etc. Check Out the SILENT AUCTION PART 1 HERE!! More items to come shortly!! PLEASE START BIDDING OR DONATING!! 🙂

Thank you to everyone who has supported me and continue to support me by following my blog, liking my posts, encouraging me to run, donating to the auction, donating to the charities I am raising awareness for, and believing in me!!

“It took cancer to realize that being self-centered is not the way to live. The answer is to try and help others.” – Terry Fox

Sincerely,

rundmach

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Getting Out

Hi there,

running inspiration from thinkfit_tumblr

What a beautiful Saturday morning it is here! I thought it was a lot cooler but it’s actually just the lack of humidity. It is 23°C  and feels like 28. I still got out there, even if I chose to wear kapris instead of shorts… silly me…

July 13 Run: 21:43 minutes, 3.06 km, 7’05″/km

Wohoo, my speed went up a little bit from the last two runs but maybe that’s because I did a short run and it wasn’t so humid. 3K sounds like nothing compared to what I was able to push myself to so that is disappointing to feel that 3 kilometres has already kicked my butt! I am happy that I did go and run and that I can still get 3k under my belt. It’s better than 0!

It’s tough thinking I am running once a week. I envy each of you for running every day or multiple times a week – most of you have kids, a family, and I’m sure a much busier life than I. My town-house is still yet to be completed with the cleaning. There is just so much to do, it’s never ending. Not to mention work has been extremely busy and I’ve had to put in a couple work nights and will be working a little bit over the weekend as well. This coming week won’t get any better with how busy work will be but I am excited to be out for another run soon! Getting out and moving is really what matters at the moment.

Back to running. I finally picked up the inhaler… but FORGOT to use it before my run as the doctor recommended. I felt like there was something I was missing all morning when I was getting ready but thought, Shoes, Watch, Music, Gum, I’m good! Less than half a km away from home, I start working on regulating my breathing and realize I forgot to use the inhaler. Of course at this point I’ve already done my warm up walk and began running, I didn’t want to turn back. Maybe I’ll remember next run and I’ll be able to breathe better!!

running inspiration redefining impossibleI’m enjoying life and enjoying the company I have ❤
I am hoping to find more time to enjoy more of the things I love, run, golf, and read.

On a side note, for all you ladies out there, what do you work out in? I’ve been set on kapris (slim fit) but now that the summer is hot, I need shorts. I’ve tried many shorts. I have tried what you say are running shorts (built in undies and loose fiiting), and I have some longer tight shorts above the knee. Here’s my problem, I have meaty thighs (which is why I need to run more!). The tights are too tight around my thighs at the edge where the sewing is (they taper in too much for skinny people). The running shorts ride up my hoo-haa when I start running (my meaty thighs rub together and pull the shorts up in the middle), so I’m left pulling them down every two seconds. Is there nothing made for me??? I can’t go with tight shorts in a larger size because they start falling down my hips. I can’t go for running shorts in a larger size so that there’s length because they start falling down my hips. I know most runners have this ideal body type but I know a lot of you are just like me, beginner and trying to get in shape. How do you dress for these hot days and you’re being physical?

I may be an occasional runner right now, but don’t you worry, I have not broken up with running, never! ❤

Thank you for following/reading my blog!

rundmach

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Sheer Laziness

Hi there,

I’m a little lost for words today… I haven’t even started my run plan yet…

July 7 Run: 30:16 min, 3.69 km, 8’11″/km I couldn’t run…

I couldn’t breathe.. My stomach/lungs were clenched.. RunRChatts wanted to get out there today so I went with him… Bad choice for me sleeping in because when he showed up ready, I rolled out of bed, changed, chugged down some water and ate a few energy chews and off I went. I dragged held him back for about 1.5 kms (a little lost in the new neighbourhood) and he went off and cycled back to me later on. From that point on, I did 2 minute run and 1 minute walk until I hit 30 minutes. Could it be the humidity today? It’s 26°C, feels like 35 with 73% humidity.

It seems that mentally I get super motivated and then somehow I get discouraged and end up doing nothing. Mostly, there’s no excuse, it’s just accepting that I’m lazy. WHY? Laziness

So, I’m disappointed with myself for dying for the summer to come so I wouldn’t have to run on the treadmill… Summer is here and I don’t want to leave my couch. What’s going on and why can’t I fight this heat?

I was definitely too optimistic when I wanted to sign up for every run possible this summer. I struggle getting myself out the door in this heat. Especially when there’s no sun and it’s this hot!

running inspiration slow

We were planning to run 5k and I couldn’t even get to 4. On the plus side, I did just get out there and move. Although the running was quite slower than any of my other runs I can ever remember, I did run.

What do you do to stay motivated in this heat???

I hope you’re having better luck than I with your relationship with running!!
I know it’s not luck, it’s your dedication and willpower that keeps you going!!! Keep it up!! Thanks for reading, you’re and inspiration to me!!!!

rundmach

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Foreign Grounds

Hey World, difference

Yes, I’m here and alive!!!  I don’t even know where to start. I’ll start with the run. FINALLY, after over a month I picked up my lazy butt and went for a run. It wasn’t a far run but it was great and challenging nonetheless.

June 29 Run: 27:15 min, 3.5 km, 7’46″/km

I couldn’t end this month with not running once! I had big hopes to run a lot of KMs this month, beat my May total (I’ve increased my total runs/kms each month since January),  and run on my birthday but that fell through 😦 …  Well despite all the slacking I got out today and that’s all that matters. My GPS watch didn’t pick up a signal so the KMs is based on my footpod, I don’t think the distance is too far off. I had to walk at 2 km and 3 km just to give my breath a moment to catch itself. The new neighbourhood is quite peaceful and quiet. Not as many runners compared to where I was before but hopefully I start spotting more the more I get out there.

Regarding my breathing and allergies, I’ve seen a doctor and I’ve received an inhaler but I have not gone to pick it up yet. He said that allergies have been extremely high this year too so that could also affect me since I sneeze at basically everything! Hopefully, once I get this inhaler, I can regulate my breathing better and run MUCH MUCH MUCH faster. progress

My plan is to follow an 8 K Program. I’ll post this later on once I actually begin it. The plan is to run 8 km in 50 minutes. That is standard but apparently it’s going to be very difficult for me. That’s cutting almost 2 minutes per km!!! That’s huge!! But, I had the initial plan to run 5 km in 30 minutes so this plan will hopefully get me there! And you know what, If I don’t get to that average runner speed, who cares?! I’m out there running and doing something I love that’s good for me! 😀

I’ve finally hooked up my computer today and it doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. I’m now settled into my new home but there is still a lot of work to get done. There’s dirty dishes, dirty floors, dirty laundry, dirty bathrooms, etc. I’m sure you get the point. But with all of this in my life, it’s nothing new. YOU, fellow runner/athlete/blogger, find time to do what you love most! Why can’t I?! It’s time to stop being lazy and prioritize!!

I went a little AWOL on running in the last month but no more! I may have taken a break but don’t think I quit on you! Running world, I am back and I will keep at it! You know, you’re a runner when every morning heading into work, I would get extremely sad seeing all the runners. All I did was wish, why can’t I make time?! Why am I so lazy right now?! Excuses no more, running, I am here to stay!!

I would like to share with you that in the last month I have not been completely  slacking. I’ve found a new love in Golf. I grew up always interested but never really tried it out. This sport actually requires a lot more physical fitness than you may think. I’ve chosen to spend some time at the driving range over running and well, I need to balance my schedule out a little better. This month, I played my first 18 holes and loved it. I love both golf and running and I will make time for both! Running will only improve my game! 🙂

SOOOOOO.. I’m a little frustrated as this computer doesn’t seem to want to be working. I keep typing and my computer keeps crashing. I’ve lost this a couple of times and a few paragraphs have not been restored. Hopefully I covered all the key things I wanted to… There’s so much more to share with you and so many blogs I need to get caught up on. I hope you’ve been doing better than I and kept up with your passions in life.  Until my next run, enjoy your life!!

You only live once!

rundmach

running inspiration - life's better when you're running

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Treasure Chest 11:1

Hi there!

I must warn you in advance this will be a long post. I haven’t blogged since mid last week so I’ve got a lot to cover and I’m sure there’s a lot you’ll want to hear about as well!

Hills, Personal Best, Celebrations, and Fundraising. I’ll start with the easier bit, today’s run.

April 9 Run: 74 minutes, 5.87 miltes (9.45 km on Nike+)

WOHOOO! My Nike+ actually showed the correct distance I ran today!!! I actually ran indoors on my treadmill since it’s raining pretty hard out. Today’s intervals went as such: 5 minute warm up, and 3 intervals of 20 minutes 24 seconds run with a 1 minute walk in between each interval and ending with a 5 minute walk. Today’s run was supposed to be easy with two rest days since my 5K run on Saturday (more to come in the next paragraphs). The first two intervals weren’t too bad but the last one was challenging: not only was I starting to get the sense that maybe I’m getting bored (because it’s a treadmill and not the beauty of nature), I also felt my toes and my left hamstring starting to tense up and become too tired/sore. I pushed through it and just kept moving on to keep me on pace to doing the 10k in May. Now I may be taking another 2 rest days before doing this run again as I have to do this run another 2 more times before advancing. Let’s see how my legs feel in two days time.

New items added to my running memorabilia shoe box. Can't wait to collect more goodies from more races! :D

New items added to my running memorabilia shoe box. My Treasure Chest. Can’t wait to collect more goodies from more races! 😀

5k Harry Rosen Run: First off, I’d like to send huge thanks to runrchatts for coming out, pacing me, and supporting me for the run! Without you, I wouldn’t have done as well as I did, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Second, this is my Personal Best 5K during a race (I’ve only done two but this is my first chipped race). I did 5KM in 35:04:04…. Yes, 4:04 seconds short of my goal!! I am definitely disappointed with this as I lost about 40 seconds in the last half km due to the race finishing on a hill. They warned us there was a hill… after the 4th KM I thought I hit the hill and mentally got myself up this “hill” for about 500 metres. When we hit the a flat for 100 I was excited the hill was over and I could speed up for the end. Unfortunately, the last 300m was the real hill! I think I got up about 2/3 of the way (but it was probably half) before my legs froze. Honestly, I didn’t think I hit a wall. I thought I had this and fought every part of my body to keep going but somehow my legs just stopped moving. Even walking up the hill seemed impossible at the time. Is this the Wall? Well, I made it. I ran the entire race up to that point (about 31 minutes straight). How did my legs freeze and feel like I was stoned from the waist down? Is this really what the wall is or is this just due to lack of hill training? Anyways, who cares, I hit a personal best which I will surely be beating later this year! Third, after all of that, I would like to assure you that I indeed am proud of myself for running this 5k and completing the race. Forth, I’d like to give a shout out to I Hate/Love Running who also ran this run! We’ve never met and I recently started following his run blog and stumbled across his post about running this same race (but the 8km one)! Congrats on your awesome time. Lastly, who runs when they are cold?! I couldn’t feel my toes for the 1.5 km at least. This was the weirdest feeling! Let’s make note to always stay warm before a run starts!

floating It may be hard to see, but I’m actually not touching the ground in the photo to the left! This is a photo captured by the event and wants $60 for the actual photo so all I have is a blurry thumbnail to share. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS PHOTO! I’m almost like the silhouette of the runner in the header of my blog who’s running in thin air over water.  If I didn’t have such a miserable face, I may have considered buying this photo. Also, as you can see, runrchatts was always pushing me and cheering me on: even at the end he pushed me to sprint to the finish line to beat him in the last however many feet. Thanks 🙂

Things I’ve learned from this run:
1. I did not know I was the ugly runner! When we first got to the run, the 8k race was just starting so we cheered all the runners on. We watched and hollered for these athletes running their hearts out as I knew I would need that cheering in an hour. We were picking out the runners who made it look too easy and the ones who just looked like they were dying and struggling. Those runners who looked like they hated their lives (I gave them an extra cheer). Turns out, I’m one of those runners! The pictures posted for the results show me as that struggling, angry runner. It looks like I’m tormenting myself. Who knew?
2. When you’re “racing” in a 5k and in the 2nd last coral, you’re not really racing. You’re racing yourself. So my question, why do people find the need to be jerks? I had a girl in her teens elbow by me at around the 3km mark, rchatts had a couple strollers whizz right by him, and I had a few ladies blocking me in. So, the question is why???? We ended up passing the strollers and the ladies with our steady pace and to top it all off, during each of these occurrences, there was a ton of space around us for passing. Anyways, that’s my little rant for the race etiquettes that some people clearly do not care for.
3. In line with the previous note, I am not running these races to compete with the elites. I am competing against myself. This is a sport to me where the goal is to beat myself and be better than I was the day before. Yes, it’d be great to be amazing and #1, but that’s not my goal and that’s not where I plan on heading. This race solidified that thought and just proved that I do want to keep challenging myself to be a better me, not be better than someone else.
4. I want to run more 5k races!! It’s a good time (not too long) and a good challenge! I think the 10k will be tough for me and I’ll still do the 10 K in May and the 10 K Terry Fox Run in September but I definitely want to do many more 5K races!! Despite having the horrible face while I run, I actually do enjoy running! I can’t wait to finish the Sporting Life 10 K race in May and start signing up for more 5K races. I’ve already been looking a bunch up and might even travel to be able to do some.
5. This was a very well organized run! There was a lot of water, food, great energy and just an awesome place to be for runners, supporters, and volunteers. I had a blast just watching all the 8k runners start and finish! I had a blast completing my run. Thank you to everyone involved for putting this together.

toronto-blue-jays-logoI had a pretty exciting and long weekend. Run Saturday Morning, friend’s dinner Saturday night, and celebratory Blue Jays game Sunday. I surprised rchatts with Jays tickets for all of his help with my running and being a great and supportive friend. There wasn’t much celebrating for the Jays since they lost horribly but it was still fun getting out to my first Jays game of the season! I was so tired yesterday I went to work and barely made it through the day but all in all I had a great weekend!

In other news, I’d like to share some awesome information with regards to my efforts to raise money for Camp Oochigeas. Myself and my running team have been working hard to raise money for this charity (if you’d like a refresher, read more about the charity and my goals from my previous post Running for Fun). So, the Penny has been put to rest in Canada. In respect, I had started a Penny Drive around my office for the month of March. I had also mentioned I would match whatever we raised in the office and donate it to one of the fellow members of our team. We raised $43.27 in the office! I have matched that and donated $50 to one of our other runners. Thank you everyone for chipping in and searching for those lost coins or just emptying out your pockets for a day to support this cause! My personal goal is to raise $250 to send a sick child to camp for a day, I am currently at $243.27!!! Only $7 away. I hope our team can muster up enough support and raise enough money to send a child to camp for a week ($1750). THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS DONATED AND SUPPORTED!!  If you’d like to donate some change, you can do so here (the site is secure and does not charge you any transaction fees). Every little bit helps! 😀

I’m a bit behind on my blog readings and I apologize for this but I will be spending tomorrow night catching up on your blog!

 That’s all for tonight folks! Thank you for reading and supporting!
Good Night,

rundmach

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Undefined & Terrified 9:3

Hi World,

Since my last post, I have been in a very odd state. A vast array of emotions have come and gone. I actually ended up throwing up that night instead of going for a walk. Yesterday, I was pretty bummed out: I’ve received noise complaints of the treadmill in my apartment. I’ve had the treadmill for three months and didn’t throw out the box until Tuesday; I received a complaint on the Wednesday… It’s unfortunate but I’ve been living here for almost three years, it’s time to find a new home where I am welcomed.

Today I saw the dentist and had 1.5 hours of work done on the tooth that’s been giving me some issues. Not in the clear yet, I will be back in two weeks. With the stress of this on my body and doing work from home today, I’m not feeling very well. My stomach still feels a bit off and during my run I was light-headed the entire time.

March 26 Run: 61 minutes, 4.77 miles (7.81 km on Nike+)

This was by far the most challenging run I can think of. It’s the same run as the last two… The last two intervals I was hanging onto the treadmill feeling faint and noticing my headache was more prominent. The entire run, I was in a very negative and dark place. I couldn’t get my mind into the good. In the end I finished it but it didn’t feel as good as the last two runs. I’m terrified since the next run to plan will be 18 minute intervals instead of 12… I really don’t know how I will do this.

I have updated the 10k for Pink plan with a comparison of my plan to theirs. Basically, I’ve changed the times to hit match the distance as the plan expects running a 10 minute mile instead of the 12 minute mile I’m pacing at.

20130326-202624.jpgTo jump back to earlier this morning, I’ve impulsively signed up for a 5k run. I was super stoked when I signed up thinking this will be great to do prior to the 10k coming up. This 5k is raising money for prostate cancer research and is on April 6.

So, my day started out pretty exciting… Then I started reading other blogs to get inspired… Then I started thinking about all the other runners out there and how I am doing… It isn’t getting any easier. I haven’t found my breath. I haven’t lost weight (and trust me, I’ve eaten a lot better as well). I’m slower than I was before. I am dreading running outside again. I’m terrified of this 5k because of the unknown. What is the route like? What about the hills? What about the sketchy weather?

I don’t mean to be really negative, I just find myself in a rut and almost wanting to quit. I’ve even thought about finishing the 10k then quitting. I don’t know how I got here… Earlier in the week I had the positive mindset, thinking maybe after the 10k, it won’t be enough and I’ll maybe do a half marathon one day…

Well… All in all, I’m trying to get myself out of this funk and excited again…
All that matters is finishing and not stopping… This photo sums it all up.
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Hopefully there will be a better next blog, I’ll have completed 10:1 and be in a more positive mental space.

rundmach

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Treading On 8:1

Hi there,

I’m embarrassed to be writing 6 days after my last post… There’s one missing! I have not completed a run since last Wednesday. On the plus side, I made the move to run tonight.

March 12 Run: 43 min, 3.35 miles (5.34 km on Nike+)

5 minute walk, 33 minute run at 5 mph (0 incline), and a 5 minute cool down.

It’s getting warmer here but tonight I chose to run on the treadmill. The weekend was nice, but I chose not to run. I did go for a couple walks but I chose to sit around and be lazy. I did choose to run tonight. I’ve chosen to walk every day, just not run. I have not mentally reached that state yet where I can make time to run, instead I’ve made excuses. I am working on this!

sore or sorrySome days are tougher than others. Mondays have normally been my easiest day to get myself to run and be the fastest I can be. Somehow, yesterday, I broke down instead. It really hit me. I’m not old but I am getting older and my body is slowing down. I’ve consistently put on weight year over year. I’m losing energy, feeling lazy, and lacking enthusiasm to staying in shape. Last night was very hard…

camp-oochThere are only 60 days left to the run! Please remember, I am not only doing this for my health but I am trying to fundraise to send sick children to camp. I’ve been collecting pennies at work and trying to raise money wherever I can. I’ll also be matching the donations I raise in pennies and change at work. If you’re in Canada, you know the penny is being put to rest. If it’s not too much, please, collect your coins, deposit them, and donate to the charity: Donate to Camp Oochigeas. Even if you’re in another country, send over a $1, the charity is secure and takes major credit cards.

I’m not asking for much. Just the acknowledgement of your support. So like my post, follow my blog, donate to the charity, leave an inspiring comment, or do nothing (even your virtual footprint of visiting my page is enough!). Every little bit you do counts and helps push me on.

Thank you everyone for your support!

Sincerely,
rundmach

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Confused at 5:2

Hi there,

Tonight I repeated the last run plan hoping I could get a bit more comfortable running it a little faster. Somehow, the numbers just don’t make sense to me anymore. Either I am just a sucky runner or Nike+ and my Treadmill are from two different universes.

January 30 Run: 31 minutes, 2.34 miles (3.6 km on Nike+)

Last year, I had come to the conclusion that Nike+ was wrong no matter what I did. I thought this may have just been because I was running outside. Tonight, I ran the same as I did the last run, BUT increased my speed from 5.3 mph to 5.4 mph for both of the 8 minute running intervals. Somehow, on Nike+ my average speed went from 8’14″/km down to 8’36″/km today. Treadmill says I ran the same distance of 2.34 miles both times while Nike+ says I did 3.61km today and 3.76 km last run. Well, I am puzzled but all that matters is I got on that treadmill and ran. Hopefully it was enough that I can advance to the next run (5:3), which is a little scary…

Maybe I was running at a slower pace, the second 8 minute interval felt like death! Maybe I didn’t let my dinner digest enough before running. Maybe I just can’t be running at 5.4 mph. Maybe I just need a heart rate monitor. Maybe I am just not trying hard enough. Maybe I’m over thinking this. Maybe I’m concentrating on the numbers too much. Maybe I just need to stop thinking. Maybe, maybe, maybe. So many possibilities but one thing is true, I finished the run. All I need to do is just RUN.

rundmach

just-run

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Moving On, 5:1

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I’m not a calorie counter but this is how I feel right now.

This morning had been a very emotional one for me. It started off nice as I woke up with a smile on my face. All night, I dreamt about running and was excited to get on the treadmill when I woke up.
It’s Sunday, that means weigh in day for me. It’s been 3 weeks now and I haven’t lost a single pound. Instead of being disappointed and sad, I was more angry and frustrated over this result. It’s not as if I’m eating horrible foods but I’m not cutting them out. I refuse to. I know I can lose weight and keep eating whatever I want, whether it’s chips or carrots. I like healthy and junky foods. I believe I have a decent balance of both. So why am I not losing any weight? It’s past the point where I’m feeling down about it, I’m just simply angry with this situation.Today, I’ve moved on to the next week a day in advance. Week 5, Day 1. I stepped up and ran each running interval at 5.3 mph. This run included three 5 minute runs and walking in between.

January 27 Run: 31 minutes, 2.25 miles (3.5 km)

By the last run of this week, I should be able to run the entire 2.25 miles (3.6 km) straight. It seems out of reach right now but we’ll see what happens during the week. I will move onto 5:2 for the next run but I plan on repeating that workout a couple of times this week before doing the final run for this week and attempting the 2.25 miles straight.

I’m reading everyone’s blogs and they are definitely inspirational and motivational. I like seeing how determined you all are out there. Thank you all for putting up your blogs and sharing your stories with everyone. I’m struggling to find my inspiration to running for myself but I hope to find it soon.


rundmach

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Pathetic

Today, I was feeling better, health wise. Today, I felt I could run more. Today, I thought I could be stronger… Now, I feel I have failed myself… I can’t get out of my head… I can’t get positive… I just keep seeing more pounds on the scale…

January 12 Attempt: 40 minutes, 2.91 miles (4.4km)

Started off ok today, 3 minute walk warm up, 10 minute run, 1 minute walk, 4 minute run…. then a series of walking, running, walking… There were too many beeps; I kept changing the program… I couldn’t even keep track of what I was doing other than letting myself and you down.

Honestly, I feel pathetic. I couldn’t even get to 3 miles in 40 minutes…

According to Nike I’m averaging almost 9 minutes a km. Thats 3 minutes more than what I was running at last year…

I don’t want to give up the junky foods I like eating but I can’t get my head in a positive space to keep running on that treadmill….

We’ll see what happens next run…

dmach

P.s. this is how I feel

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