Undefined & Terrified 9:3

Hi World,

Since my last post, I have been in a very odd state. A vast array of emotions have come and gone. I actually ended up throwing up that night instead of going for a walk. Yesterday, I was pretty bummed out: I’ve received noise complaints of the treadmill in my apartment. I’ve had the treadmill for three months and didn’t throw out the box until Tuesday; I received a complaint on the Wednesday… It’s unfortunate but I’ve been living here for almost three years, it’s time to find a new home where I am welcomed.

Today I saw the dentist and had 1.5 hours of work done on the tooth that’s been giving me some issues. Not in the clear yet, I will be back in two weeks. With the stress of this on my body and doing work from home today, I’m not feeling very well. My stomach still feels a bit off and during my run I was light-headed the entire time.

March 26 Run: 61 minutes, 4.77 miles (7.81 km on Nike+)

This was by far the most challenging run I can think of. It’s the same run as the last two… The last two intervals I was hanging onto the treadmill feeling faint and noticing my headache was more prominent. The entire run, I was in a very negative and dark place. I couldn’t get my mind into the good. In the end I finished it but it didn’t feel as good as the last two runs. I’m terrified since the next run to plan will be 18 minute intervals instead of 12… I really don’t know how I will do this.

I have updated the 10k for Pink plan with a comparison of my plan to theirs. Basically, I’ve changed the times to hit match the distance as the plan expects running a 10 minute mile instead of the 12 minute mile I’m pacing at.

20130326-202624.jpgTo jump back to earlier this morning, I’ve impulsively signed up for a 5k run. I was super stoked when I signed up thinking this will be great to do prior to the 10k coming up. This 5k is raising money for prostate cancer research and is on April 6.

So, my day started out pretty exciting… Then I started reading other blogs to get inspired… Then I started thinking about all the other runners out there and how I am doing… It isn’t getting any easier. I haven’t found my breath. I haven’t lost weight (and trust me, I’ve eaten a lot better as well). I’m slower than I was before. I am dreading running outside again. I’m terrified of this 5k because of the unknown. What is the route like? What about the hills? What about the sketchy weather?

I don’t mean to be really negative, I just find myself in a rut and almost wanting to quit. I’ve even thought about finishing the 10k then quitting. I don’t know how I got here… Earlier in the week I had the positive mindset, thinking maybe after the 10k, it won’t be enough and I’ll maybe do a half marathon one day…

Well… All in all, I’m trying to get myself out of this funk and excited again…
All that matters is finishing and not stopping… This photo sums it all up.
20130326-204005.jpg

Hopefully there will be a better next blog, I’ll have completed 10:1 and be in a more positive mental space.

rundmach

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6 thoughts on “Undefined & Terrified 9:3

  1. Hey, don’t give up you are doing a great job and have proven to be resilient in the face of these stressors. You are an inspiration to me! πŸ™‚ -Beverly

  2. I hope you’re okay! You are really an inspiration, but don’t overdo it.

    PS – your neighbours sound like ratbags for complaining like that. Maybe they’re just too busy sitting around doing absolutely nothing… 😦

  3. I have real troubles with the treadmill, outside I can run comfortably and adjust my pace as need to find my breath on a treadmill I’m always struggling to keep my head above water. I would suggest running outside for 3 miles super easy start super slow and gradually work your way up to a comfortable pace, I bet you enjoy it much more and find yourself a lot more calm!

  4. Sounds like you have had a lot going on. It is great to have targets and a training plan, but OK to adjust it if you are feeling unwell. If your overall objective is to finish your race, don’t be sidetracked by numbers in the plan, change them to what works for you. Life happens but the training plan doesn’t know that! I admire your determination, but please don’t run to the point of feeling you might faint.

  5. Johnny

    Save some energy for The Hill! πŸ˜‰

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