Posts Tagged With: frustrated

Janathon Day 16

It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want. – Unknown

January 16 Run: 8 min, 1 km, 8’06″/km (iPod)
janathon day 16

My question tonight should be, how did I run 8 minutes on the treadmill and the treadmill tell me I’m running 7’56″/km pace when I did exactly 8 minutes and exactly 0.62 miles (1 km). My pace should read 8’00″/km on my iPod and Treadmill but both don’t seem to know how to do math. Maybe I’ve been doing math all wrong my entire life? Who knows… who cares.. my bigger question tonight is why am I doing this?! I’m feeling better but soooo exhausted. My 30 minute run was cut down to 8 minutes after having a cough attack, a sneezing fit, my chest hurt/throat was burning so bad from trying to breathe, and then really really had to pee. So, I was weak and after a kilometre I stepped off, ran to the wash-room, did my basic strength exercises and came here to blog. I’m just a little stressed out and I don’t even know why. Work isn’t that stressful. I have the day off tomorrow to visit the U.S. for some shopping. I’m not as sick as I was a few days ago. Today I checked up on a few blogs and they were keeping me motivated all day to get home and get my Janathon janathon-participant-logo  run for Day 16 in. Your blogs are definitely inspirational and helping… Yet here I am, grumpy and grouchy and all I want is to sleep for 24 hours. Maybe it’s time to hibernate?

Sorry for being such a downer tonight; I know I need to be back to my optimistic self to get through this and run some more. I need to run more, I love to run, but I also love sleep… I must not forget, getting a good nights rest and sleep are part of a healthy life.

sleep deprivation

Good night for now.

Happier Running wishes being sent your way!

rundmach

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Winter’s Coming…

Running slow isn’t a character flaw, quitting is. It’s never too cold.

November 21 Run: 30:07 (mm:ss), 3.23 km, 9’19″/km, plus 5 minute warm up & 5 minute cool down

Okay, so my last post I said who cares how slow I go as long as I go. Yes, I still believe that but I also don’t believe that I should be running THIS slow on a treadmill. I’ve never had a run at this pace and still feel I was running. I’m really hating the treadmill right now seeing that I am running 2 minutes slower per km than I am outside and it feels just as tough!! It’s a little depressing seeing on fitness trackers that doing 9 minutes per km is a brisk walk pace and I’m actually running at that pace. Huh?!

running in the coldSo here it is, who cares how cold it is or going to get or how dark it gets, I am running outside!! I will invest and put some money into stupid expensive winter running gear and be prepared. There’s no good routes to run when it’s dark here because the paths are not lit at all. The streets are short and boring but I bet they’re more enjoyable than on the treadmill!! I will figure this out and get outside to complete my runs!

Here’s to wishing happy runs for all of us! 🙂

rundmach

P.S. I completed my cross training again yesterday as per plan with some boxing, stationary cycling, and various strength training exercises.

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I’m Alive

Hi there,

I don’t even know where to begin. It seems I’m always cycling back to writing this message. I appologize in advance as this may come off as a very negative post but it is not, I just need to vent a little. I’m sorry I have not been running or blogging or following your blog. I’m sorry to myself and feel ashamed to consider myself a runner. I am no runner. It has been almost an entire month since my last run. I made every excuse possible to not run. It’s too cold, it’s too dark, I’m in another province (Wahoo, my eldest brother got married and I was away for over a week), etc, etc, etc.

November 10 Run: 35:49 (mm:ss), 4.07 km, 8’47″/km

These stats are based on my Nike+ GPS SportsWatch. I did my first run of the season on my treadmill this morning. I have finally put it together, since moving to my new home back in June, with the support of a great friend. The treadmill stats say I ran less but faster so I’m not even sure what to believe anymore. I’ll stick to the GPS watch as that will be the one constant that will follow me when I do run outdoors.

Mentally, I always want to run and I always feel like it’s the one thing that’s missing in my day. So how is it that I don’t do it and come up with all these excuses? Am I that weak mentally to not be able to push myself? Even today’s run, I followed the treadmill’s running plan to Run hard for 30 seconds (between a 6-7.4 mph pace) and jog/walk for 90 seconds (between 3.9-5 mph pace). My pace for today overall was ridiculously slow. However, I’m not upset about this at all, it is my first run in almost a month! I am just disappointed with always feeling sorry for myself and disappointed I keep finding excuses. What’s wrong with me? I want to do this!! It is tough when I do it, I can’t breathe right still but I love doing it. I love writing my blog and following your blog for inspiration, yet I’ve fallen behind on that as well. If I love to do something so much why do I keep myself away from it? Okay, I get it, I’m just ranting now and need to stop.

On other news, there’s only 4 more weeks until the Santa 5K!!! I’m excited to do this fun run for myself. It feels a little odd not doing fundraising or a charity support on this. It will be fun and probably super cold! If you have a suggested 5k run plan for 4 weeks (or 7 week to the 5K Resolution Run on December 31st), please send it over (dmach88@gmail.com)!! I’m looking to increase my speed as I was running a 5K in around 36-38 minutes. I’d like to be running at the average speeds around 30-35 minutes for a 5k but can’t seem to get myself there. Do you have any good plans?

runcanmoreI’ve been thinking about so many things to write but here I am expressing to you my shame with how I have one again fallen off the tracks. I’m not disappointed with my run today, I am disappointed with all the runs I didn’t do. I was in one of the most beautiful places during my vacation for my brother’s wedding, Banff (where I’d like to retire one day and Canmore, where his wedding actually was). I even brought my running shoes and all my “cold” weather running gear. I did not run. 😦

This post could go on for pages about how disappointed I am and how many runs I have missed; but, I’ll leave it at, I am still very happy with my life and enjoying everything else in my life. Work is a challenge as always and I have not made enough time for my friends but what I do get to do and what I choose to do every day, I am Happy. I need to make more time and create more energy. 🙂

I will end this post with a question to you all, what are your limits? When do you decide it is treadmill time? Is it because it’s pitch black outside by 5 PM before  you even leave work, is it when it falls below 0 degrees celsius? How do you find motivation to run outside? (I want to run outside!! The treadmill was good and comfortable because I was warm, but nothing like being outdoors).

For all my followers, please forgive me.

Sincerely,

rundmach

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So Happy, I Forgot a Title

Hi World!!!

The Terry Fox run was this morning and I couldn’t be happier.

September 15 Run: 1:16:48 (hh:mm:ss), 10 K, 7’40″/km

What’s that?! 10K non-stop, that’s right!! I didn’t stop, I may have slowed down to an 8 km per hour pace at one point but I didn’t stop and I even ran an extra 200 metres pass the finish to hit the full 10k!!

Terry Fox Run smallHUGE HUGE HUGE Thank you goes out to runrchatts, CJ, and CF for coming out and running with me!!! My pace is pretty slow but it’s good training for them 😉 . They never left my side and just kept running with me. This made a HUGE difference. For CF this is her first 5K of straight running, awesome!! Those new shoes paid off!! (Don’t worry readers, she wore them in before the first run today, 🙂 ). To achieve this 10K means a lot and having these guys and gals next to me is just so amazing! Big shout out to Nick @ Striding Towards Life  for dedicating 10K today to Terry Fox and really running for all the children and all the people affected by cancer. We also had another team member run at a location closer to his home, he did his first 6km run, ever! He also did it in 25 minutes; amazing!!! Thanks MD for joining in on the team! 🙂

This was my ultimate goal I set out last year from not running to being able to run this particular 10k straight for charity, I did it. This feels incredible!!! Our team raised $335 for The Terry Fox Foundation!!! Cancer better watch out because there’s going to be a cure and it’s going to get it’s butt kicked out of this world!

If you’ve never heard of Terry Fox, check out The Terry Fox Story – this original movie from 1983 is great. You could also see the newer Terry film from 2005 for a bit of a different more recent retelling of his story and journey. Both are very inspirational movies I’d recommend you watch.

Running Inspiration start and finishThere were moments I wanted to stop and walk, moments where I said to myself it was okay to walk, but in the end, those thoughts were pushed out with, it’s not okay, Terry did a marathon a day with one leg and he didn’t do it for himself! I did it!!! I just kept running and running. Now to keep running and maybe get to a half marathon one day? Slow and steady!! It is no shock any more how slow my pace is compared to most other runners, but especially today, this is not a race. This is all about me and if I do a half marathon (21.1 k / 13.1 m) in 2 1/2 hours or even 3 hours, I will be soooo stoked for finishing.

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start”- J. Bingham

I am definitely left speechless with how supportive everyone has been on this journey and how incredible I feel. It’s beyond a runner’s high, it’s happiness and bliss. I am loving life and everything it has to offer.

” I just wish people would realize that anything’s possible if you try; dreams are made possible if you try.” – Terry Fox

Can’t wait for more wonderful journeys to share with you and a healthier, happier life 🙂 .

Happy Running

rundmach

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Foreign Grounds

Hey World, difference

Yes, I’m here and alive!!!  I don’t even know where to start. I’ll start with the run. FINALLY, after over a month I picked up my lazy butt and went for a run. It wasn’t a far run but it was great and challenging nonetheless.

June 29 Run: 27:15 min, 3.5 km, 7’46″/km

I couldn’t end this month with not running once! I had big hopes to run a lot of KMs this month, beat my May total (I’ve increased my total runs/kms each month since January),  and run on my birthday but that fell through 😦 …  Well despite all the slacking I got out today and that’s all that matters. My GPS watch didn’t pick up a signal so the KMs is based on my footpod, I don’t think the distance is too far off. I had to walk at 2 km and 3 km just to give my breath a moment to catch itself. The new neighbourhood is quite peaceful and quiet. Not as many runners compared to where I was before but hopefully I start spotting more the more I get out there.

Regarding my breathing and allergies, I’ve seen a doctor and I’ve received an inhaler but I have not gone to pick it up yet. He said that allergies have been extremely high this year too so that could also affect me since I sneeze at basically everything! Hopefully, once I get this inhaler, I can regulate my breathing better and run MUCH MUCH MUCH faster. progress

My plan is to follow an 8 K Program. I’ll post this later on once I actually begin it. The plan is to run 8 km in 50 minutes. That is standard but apparently it’s going to be very difficult for me. That’s cutting almost 2 minutes per km!!! That’s huge!! But, I had the initial plan to run 5 km in 30 minutes so this plan will hopefully get me there! And you know what, If I don’t get to that average runner speed, who cares?! I’m out there running and doing something I love that’s good for me! 😀

I’ve finally hooked up my computer today and it doesn’t seem to want to cooperate. I’m now settled into my new home but there is still a lot of work to get done. There’s dirty dishes, dirty floors, dirty laundry, dirty bathrooms, etc. I’m sure you get the point. But with all of this in my life, it’s nothing new. YOU, fellow runner/athlete/blogger, find time to do what you love most! Why can’t I?! It’s time to stop being lazy and prioritize!!

I went a little AWOL on running in the last month but no more! I may have taken a break but don’t think I quit on you! Running world, I am back and I will keep at it! You know, you’re a runner when every morning heading into work, I would get extremely sad seeing all the runners. All I did was wish, why can’t I make time?! Why am I so lazy right now?! Excuses no more, running, I am here to stay!!

I would like to share with you that in the last month I have not been completely  slacking. I’ve found a new love in Golf. I grew up always interested but never really tried it out. This sport actually requires a lot more physical fitness than you may think. I’ve chosen to spend some time at the driving range over running and well, I need to balance my schedule out a little better. This month, I played my first 18 holes and loved it. I love both golf and running and I will make time for both! Running will only improve my game! 🙂

SOOOOOO.. I’m a little frustrated as this computer doesn’t seem to want to be working. I keep typing and my computer keeps crashing. I’ve lost this a couple of times and a few paragraphs have not been restored. Hopefully I covered all the key things I wanted to… There’s so much more to share with you and so many blogs I need to get caught up on. I hope you’ve been doing better than I and kept up with your passions in life.  Until my next run, enjoy your life!!

You only live once!

rundmach

running inspiration - life's better when you're running

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Undefined & Terrified 9:3

Hi World,

Since my last post, I have been in a very odd state. A vast array of emotions have come and gone. I actually ended up throwing up that night instead of going for a walk. Yesterday, I was pretty bummed out: I’ve received noise complaints of the treadmill in my apartment. I’ve had the treadmill for three months and didn’t throw out the box until Tuesday; I received a complaint on the Wednesday… It’s unfortunate but I’ve been living here for almost three years, it’s time to find a new home where I am welcomed.

Today I saw the dentist and had 1.5 hours of work done on the tooth that’s been giving me some issues. Not in the clear yet, I will be back in two weeks. With the stress of this on my body and doing work from home today, I’m not feeling very well. My stomach still feels a bit off and during my run I was light-headed the entire time.

March 26 Run: 61 minutes, 4.77 miles (7.81 km on Nike+)

This was by far the most challenging run I can think of. It’s the same run as the last two… The last two intervals I was hanging onto the treadmill feeling faint and noticing my headache was more prominent. The entire run, I was in a very negative and dark place. I couldn’t get my mind into the good. In the end I finished it but it didn’t feel as good as the last two runs. I’m terrified since the next run to plan will be 18 minute intervals instead of 12… I really don’t know how I will do this.

I have updated the 10k for Pink plan with a comparison of my plan to theirs. Basically, I’ve changed the times to hit match the distance as the plan expects running a 10 minute mile instead of the 12 minute mile I’m pacing at.

20130326-202624.jpgTo jump back to earlier this morning, I’ve impulsively signed up for a 5k run. I was super stoked when I signed up thinking this will be great to do prior to the 10k coming up. This 5k is raising money for prostate cancer research and is on April 6.

So, my day started out pretty exciting… Then I started reading other blogs to get inspired… Then I started thinking about all the other runners out there and how I am doing… It isn’t getting any easier. I haven’t found my breath. I haven’t lost weight (and trust me, I’ve eaten a lot better as well). I’m slower than I was before. I am dreading running outside again. I’m terrified of this 5k because of the unknown. What is the route like? What about the hills? What about the sketchy weather?

I don’t mean to be really negative, I just find myself in a rut and almost wanting to quit. I’ve even thought about finishing the 10k then quitting. I don’t know how I got here… Earlier in the week I had the positive mindset, thinking maybe after the 10k, it won’t be enough and I’ll maybe do a half marathon one day…

Well… All in all, I’m trying to get myself out of this funk and excited again…
All that matters is finishing and not stopping… This photo sums it all up.
20130326-204005.jpg

Hopefully there will be a better next blog, I’ll have completed 10:1 and be in a more positive mental space.

rundmach

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Treading On 8:1

Hi there,

I’m embarrassed to be writing 6 days after my last post… There’s one missing! I have not completed a run since last Wednesday. On the plus side, I made the move to run tonight.

March 12 Run: 43 min, 3.35 miles (5.34 km on Nike+)

5 minute walk, 33 minute run at 5 mph (0 incline), and a 5 minute cool down.

It’s getting warmer here but tonight I chose to run on the treadmill. The weekend was nice, but I chose not to run. I did go for a couple walks but I chose to sit around and be lazy. I did choose to run tonight. I’ve chosen to walk every day, just not run. I have not mentally reached that state yet where I can make time to run, instead I’ve made excuses. I am working on this!

sore or sorrySome days are tougher than others. Mondays have normally been my easiest day to get myself to run and be the fastest I can be. Somehow, yesterday, I broke down instead. It really hit me. I’m not old but I am getting older and my body is slowing down. I’ve consistently put on weight year over year. I’m losing energy, feeling lazy, and lacking enthusiasm to staying in shape. Last night was very hard…

camp-oochThere are only 60 days left to the run! Please remember, I am not only doing this for my health but I am trying to fundraise to send sick children to camp. I’ve been collecting pennies at work and trying to raise money wherever I can. I’ll also be matching the donations I raise in pennies and change at work. If you’re in Canada, you know the penny is being put to rest. If it’s not too much, please, collect your coins, deposit them, and donate to the charity: Donate to Camp Oochigeas. Even if you’re in another country, send over a $1, the charity is secure and takes major credit cards.

I’m not asking for much. Just the acknowledgement of your support. So like my post, follow my blog, donate to the charity, leave an inspiring comment, or do nothing (even your virtual footprint of visiting my page is enough!). Every little bit you do counts and helps push me on.

Thank you everyone for your support!

Sincerely,
rundmach

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Confused at 5:2

Hi there,

Tonight I repeated the last run plan hoping I could get a bit more comfortable running it a little faster. Somehow, the numbers just don’t make sense to me anymore. Either I am just a sucky runner or Nike+ and my Treadmill are from two different universes.

January 30 Run: 31 minutes, 2.34 miles (3.6 km on Nike+)

Last year, I had come to the conclusion that Nike+ was wrong no matter what I did. I thought this may have just been because I was running outside. Tonight, I ran the same as I did the last run, BUT increased my speed from 5.3 mph to 5.4 mph for both of the 8 minute running intervals. Somehow, on Nike+ my average speed went from 8’14″/km down to 8’36″/km today. Treadmill says I ran the same distance of 2.34 miles both times while Nike+ says I did 3.61km today and 3.76 km last run. Well, I am puzzled but all that matters is I got on that treadmill and ran. Hopefully it was enough that I can advance to the next run (5:3), which is a little scary…

Maybe I was running at a slower pace, the second 8 minute interval felt like death! Maybe I didn’t let my dinner digest enough before running. Maybe I just can’t be running at 5.4 mph. Maybe I just need a heart rate monitor. Maybe I am just not trying hard enough. Maybe I’m over thinking this. Maybe I’m concentrating on the numbers too much. Maybe I just need to stop thinking. Maybe, maybe, maybe. So many possibilities but one thing is true, I finished the run. All I need to do is just RUN.

rundmach

just-run

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Moving On, 5:1

mime-attachment

I’m not a calorie counter but this is how I feel right now.

This morning had been a very emotional one for me. It started off nice as I woke up with a smile on my face. All night, I dreamt about running and was excited to get on the treadmill when I woke up.
It’s Sunday, that means weigh in day for me. It’s been 3 weeks now and I haven’t lost a single pound. Instead of being disappointed and sad, I was more angry and frustrated over this result. It’s not as if I’m eating horrible foods but I’m not cutting them out. I refuse to. I know I can lose weight and keep eating whatever I want, whether it’s chips or carrots. I like healthy and junky foods. I believe I have a decent balance of both. So why am I not losing any weight? It’s past the point where I’m feeling down about it, I’m just simply angry with this situation.Today, I’ve moved on to the next week a day in advance. Week 5, Day 1. I stepped up and ran each running interval at 5.3 mph. This run included three 5 minute runs and walking in between.

January 27 Run: 31 minutes, 2.25 miles (3.5 km)

By the last run of this week, I should be able to run the entire 2.25 miles (3.6 km) straight. It seems out of reach right now but we’ll see what happens during the week. I will move onto 5:2 for the next run but I plan on repeating that workout a couple of times this week before doing the final run for this week and attempting the 2.25 miles straight.

I’m reading everyone’s blogs and they are definitely inspirational and motivational. I like seeing how determined you all are out there. Thank you all for putting up your blogs and sharing your stories with everyone. I’m struggling to find my inspiration to running for myself but I hope to find it soon.


rundmach

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