It’s Okay to be Sad

Well, Hello There!

It seems so odd to be blogging now after a little break (since January, I blogged every day!).

Today, I got to run a Valentine’s 5K Run with runrchatts and for the spirit of this “holiday”, we were tied together! Luckily, there was some slack because I fell behind a couple of times (and he was already running pretty slow for his pace). He’s got another 21 kms to run today to complete his 26 km training run towards a 30k race in March!! You’re doing amazing, keep it up!!

February 9 Run: 37:05 (mm:ss), 5.02 km, 7’23″/km (GPS Watch)

The great news is that this is my fastest 5k in quite some time! I’ve slowed down a lot since this time last year. According to my watch we finished 5k in 36 minutes 56 seconds. We’ll see what happens when the race stats are loaded; yes this fun run where you’re tied together, you are given a chip and timed as a team!

I just wanted to let you all know, that I am doing okay. I am still pretty broken and have my moments. The visitation and funeral were very tough (but when is it not?). I’m still finding my struggles with my family and learning how to stay strong. I have a wonderful second family of friends and bosses, my bosses are the best in the world. People work for people and I definitely stay where I am because of my two bosses. They have been more than understanding and supportive. My friends, (yes, this includes you!), have read/listened to my thoughts and hurt, you have been there for me and provided support and extremely touching words/gestures. I would like to clarify, I do find many of you, other bloggers, to be my friend. I may not have met you but you know more about me than a lot of my family does and I know more about you than I could say about some members in my family too. You are here for me and you understand, you do not judge and you care. Thank you to everyone, from the bottom of my heart, life is too short, cherish every moment.

It seems that “enough” time has passed and I should be able to move on from grieving. That’s what seems logical. BUT I’m not ready to move on yet. I’m not ready to say good-bye and I’m still so broken up with all the thoughts of my Uncle and all of the last memories I have with him and of his funeral. Everyone is different and I guess I am just one of those people who need more time to mourn.

The heads up is that I may still have some pretty bummer posts, I don’t know how long it will take me to not be sad about this whole situation but I will continue to motor on and be the best I can be. With that being said, I have signed up for the The Inaugural Move Your Paws for the Polar Bear Cause 3km Run. I’m very excited about this run!! It’s at the Toronto Zoo and this will be the first one hosted in February with super adorable polar bear medals (yes, there is a Zoo run in August as well but this is only up to a 3km fun run).  If you live in Ontario or plan on being in the GTA February 22nd, please join in on the run! Proceeds go to the Toronto Zoo. It’s only 3 kms, and if you’re slow like me or if you choose to walk (basically my pace), you’ll be done in less than half an hour! If you walked the zoo, you’d be walking more than 3km. Oh and your race fee includes all day entry for yourself to the Toronto Zoo.

It does seem like it has been forever since blogging and my thoughts are all over the place trying to get you all caught up!
Last week, after giving up on my running streak after 35 days, I substituted the run with a Spin Class! On February 4th I rode for 51 minutes!! It was super intense and completely different from my first spin class. The instructor this time didn’t introduce herself or give me the opportunity to speak to her before the class (unlike the first one I went too). Both classes were “advanced” and yes, this one surely felt way too hard for me but as long as I kept peddling it didn’t matter much to me. I’d like to continue to spin to get a different activity in that will compliment with running.

I hope you have been doing well yourself, I have not been able to get out to read any blogs over the last week but I do plan on getting caught up this week. Look forward to my likes when I drop by and catch up on your journey!

Happy Running!

rundmach

Learning to Pace

Hi there,

Tonight’s run was a time to pace my friend who has decided to join me again in running. If you recall My First Post, my friend was unable to continue running as she got shin splints, ouch! Well, I’m happy to welcome her back into running. She joined our team for the Terry Fox run and her and I are a team for the CIBC Run for the Cure run as well.

October 1 Run: 22: 22:58 (mm:ss), 3.06 km, 7’30″/km

Just on pace!! It was very hard trying to pace at this speed. I found myself going too fast or too slow a lot, but eventually thought I found a happy medium. After plugging in my watch it looks like I was still fluctuating all over the place but kept an average at exactly where we wanted. I did feel super comfortable running with her and focussing on her running over mine. I could actually get out sentences without sounding like I’m going to die. So, is this because I’ve switched my focus or because the last few runs have been spent focussing on increasing my pace?
It doesn’t really matter, I’m just happy with tonight’s run!

It was a long long long day at work and pretty overwhelming doing a lot of requests and not getting to my own work. I think she had the same kind of day as we sit right next to each other at work. The run, the perfect therapy! Not to mention the veggie sushi rolls we had pre run. Yum!

My question for all of you, how do you keep a steady pace? I use a watch and still can’t maintain very well.

Whether you’re running alone, with a friend, or in a group, I hope you’re running happy! 🙂

rundmach

Priceless

Hey World,

Only one week left to the next charity 10 k – The Terry Fox Run. I’m no where close to being able to run 10 k straight through but I will complete 10 k no matter what!

September 8 Run: 37:42 minutes, 5.07 km, 7’26″/km

Today was a much better run! RunRChatts came out and we did the run together. It’s been a while and although I’m sure I’m too slow for him, I was running much faster than I normally do trying extra hard to keep up. Even though I can’t really speak when I’m running (which I know means I’m running too hard) and I have headphones on, the company means a lot. I’m glad he came for a run with me.

Now that the weather is getting a little cooler and running is a little easier, have you been signing up for races? I’m trying to but am finding it hard to commit. For whatever reason, I really want to be running with others and am finding it difficult in getting support. I’m not asking for others to run at my slower pace, but just to have a group at the end who would wait for me and we can all celebrate our success together. Do I need to join a running group to meet running friends or get some encouragement? It’s not that I’m trying to come off as weak and can’t do things by myself, I’d just like to be able to celebrate the wins of finishing a race at the end with someone other than myself. Plus, signing up for races sets goals and targets that I have to hit. I can’t be so wishy washy about running since there are actual finish lines to cross.

There are quite a few runs and races I want to sign up for coming up:
October 6:  CIBC Run for the Cure
October 20: Turkey Trot Trail Race (I’ve never even ran trail before?)
December 7: Santa 5K (Everyone has to dress as Santa, it’s part of your race kit!)
December 31: Resolution Run (THIS ONE IS A MUST!! I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS!)

So, if you’re in the area and would like to join me, please let me know if you plan on doing any of these runs, maybe we could meet up for a picture or just high fives.

Even if you’re not in the area, I wish you well in your runs and races coming up! 🙂
Happy Running!

Sincerely,

rundmach

Solo Tribute

Hey there,

This one’s for Christine!
May 9 Run: 27:16, 4.02km, 6’46″/km

Today marks 1 year since I went for my first run. It would have been awesome if my friend could have joined me who pushed me (we pushed each other) to run. As mentioned, she’s been injured so I ran the same route we did last year as a tribute (+1 km).

Can you believe it? I can’t! So, how far have I really come?

Last year I died trying to accomplish 3 km and this year… I still struggled! But that’s okay, this year, I ran the entire time without having to walk so that’s a great improvement!!! I do have to say, I went into this thinking I would run the lap we did around the block twice, but that was out of question after the first km, my legs were BURNING! So… No more running until the big 10k this Sunday!

I still weigh the same (or slightly heavier..) but at least I’m doing something that I’m passionate about and is healthy for me!!

In the past year, I’ve found a new me, a new love, a new outlook. Despite what others may not see as any changes, I am a happier person. I’d be happier if I could just shed a few pounds instead of gaining constantly but I’ll give it some more time. Besides, I still want to have my chicken wings and pizza! Mmmmm…. Wish I had some right now!

I’ve come so far, I’ve invested a lot of money into running gear that I would have never thought I’d need. Let me tell you, running isn’t as cheap as some people make it out to be. I’ve even gone so deep and started trying energy bars for pre and post runs to make sure I get the nutrients I need. I’ve spent money on a new pair of shoes, GPS watch, a Nike fuel band, a hydration belt, running clothes, the previously mentioned power bars, and so far down to hair elastics and pins. I’m sure I’ve spent much more on many other things but I’m not too worried, if it’s motivation to keep me going, I’ll take it!

Every run I run for me but every run I run for a cause and am always reminding myself to never stop and keep going for those who wished they could. I will always run to better my health but I will do what I can to help wherever I can.

I know I am not the fastest, nor am I progressing as fast as many other female runners I read about… Sometimes I am at awe by the stories I read and wonder, I was never that big so why does it seem so much harder for me? Maybe I need to push harder this summer and not fall off during fall/winter. I will set new goals and work harder!

Discovering the online blog community, falling for the running family, following inspirational blogs, and receiving your support has meant the world to me. You fuel my runs.

I feel I have lived this past year to the fullest, learned a lot from it, and grown to become better. I’m sure there are points I am missing that may be key to my past year, but all that matters is I continue to lace up and run! 🙂

There’s only two more days of fundraising left, please donate a couple bucks if you can. For more info visit, Running for Fun.

Thank you for your continued likes, follows, visits, dollars, encouraging words, and any way you have shown your support!!

Sincerely,
rundmach