Posts Tagged With: half marathon

A Little Worried

Hello Stranger, 

It’s been quite a while since I’ve blogged. I was hoping my blog would come following Sunday, my first half marathon. Well I can’t hold it in anymore. I apologize in advance if you are reading this, it’s going to be scrambled and all over the place… I just need to vent a little. 

I’m dying with anxiousness and I’m terrified. I cannot trust in the training, I’ve failed to train properly, I slacked and did not follow my plan. I did not reach the maximum distance nor did I do strength training or hills or speed training. I am utterly out of shape and the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. Gaining 7 pounds in the last month alone… On top of all that, I am injured. I have been seeing a chiropractor/sports doctor for the last two weeks after injuring my knee two weeks prior to that during an 8km race to get the season started. I destroyed my knee that day and rested an entire week, ran and found myself in excruciating pain again. I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t move. Laying in bed was painful. I had given myself patellar tendinitis. Okay fine we figured it out during the first diagnosis and the doctor did some therapy (ultrasound? andd laser) and acupuncture… First time.. Weird. I didn’t enjoy it. Next morning after my first treatment, my foot hurt, a lot, and I was off to a 10km race… So, I did the race in a lot of pain, saw the doctor a handful of times since to treat both my foot and knee and I’m still in pain. I can’t even run 2kms without feeling like my foot is going to rip apart, how am I ever going to finish 21k?!!!! I just want to curl up and cry because I want to do this run sooooooo bad. At this point I’ll most likely be walking it but that means 4+ hours for what I was hoping for 2 ½ hours. I guess the time doesn’t matter really anymore. I just want to be able to finish, not be in pain, and be able to walk afterwards. My knee is aching and my foot is throbbing. I just did less than 2 KMs of WALKING…. This is going to be the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced.

Please don’t lecture me or try to talk me out of it. I understand. My common sense says yes I should sit this one out, no harm no foul. My stubbornness and determination says I signed up, this is what I wanted, why not try instead of giving up?!! I realize I can injure myself more and feel even more useless than I do now but I will spend the rest of my life wondering what if. 

I’m so torn… I know and understand it is okay to not run/walk this race. I just know how disappointed I will be in myself if I don’t at least try. I’d rather than a DNF than a DNS (did not finish over did not start) but most importantly, I’d much rather have a Finisher status! *sigh* 

That is all. That is where I have been lately. Being depressed about my weight, not comfortable in my own skin at all, not running, eating like a fatso, and doing nothing about it. 

Time to go curl up and try to put on a brave face… 

  

Categories: blog | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments

What’s Next

Hey there,

I haven’t blogged since my 10k Race last Sunday because I haven’t been out for a run. I went for a run yesterday!

20130520-092435.jpgMay 19 Run: 43:52, 6.16 km, 7’07″/km

This week I let go and ate everything I craved and wanted… Well almost everything, I didn’t cave and have poutine or any of the other really bad foods I love. Pizza, chips, candy, and much more was in the mix. BUT it’s ok, I run. 🙂

Now, I’ve been really caught up all week with deciding what the next race will be. I want to sign up for all of them in June before it gets too hot but I am busy packing and moving. I want to make time to train but I also don’t want to stress myself out too much. I’ll decide when the time comes closer to the races… I feel like I’m addicted to races already! I keep looking them up and I’ve even written down all the options for June on a calendar. I don’t want to be overcommitted either…

Here’s the craziest thing… Last year, completing 10k would have been out of this world for me to complete before the September plan, but I did it in May, 4 months earlier! I would have never thought 10k would be so fun. But here I am…. Craving to finish this years’s races so I can train for a half marathon. Did I just really say this?! I think so. I’ve been dabbling with the idea ever since finishing the 10k last week. I WANT to finish a half marathon! I may be slow, but I will finish! 🙂

So what’s really next? A lot of running, I will make time. Packing, moving, and settling in a new home. Run some more. Sign up for some fun runs. Start my fundraising for the Terry Fox Foundation. Decided on which 10k to run in September (Terry Fox fun run or Toronto Zoo Run-timed). Maybe begin training for a half marathon for 2014?

Happy Running,

rundmach

Categories: blog | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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