Accepting the Truth

Good Evening World,

Thank you to everyone who read my last post and sent me some feedback/support. I’m not going to lie, I’m still pretty sad and right now I don’t really know if it’s all because I’m still “fat” or because I’m just sad my uncle has passed and my family doesn’t seem to be coming together… or maybe I am just taking this more personal than anyone else would have expected? I guess death is a hard thing to move on from and to stay strong for those even closer that are affected (like my aunt, my cousins, and my mom). Am I just being selfish and want to see family so I can get some comfort? Maybe they need their space and I should just let it be. Or maybe I am just sad because some people look at me and think I’m huge and some people think I’m small or healthy… But like I said, despite how I physically look and what people stay I am still not in a healthy weight range. I’m fat, I still huff and puff while running, and I don’t feel very healthy. I could also just be sad because I’m not very happy at work anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I love my team, but the rest of my work life kind of frustrates me… Honestly, if you don’t love what you do, go find another job, don’t just get by with what you think is minimal effort when it’s really 0 effort. Anyways, I won’t go into it but I’m a little stressed out with how some people have gotten so far in life when it doesn’t seem like they deserve it at all.

After today’s run, I am calling a quits to the run streak. Not that I’m a quitter and stopping running, but taking a day or so break. My shins hurt while I run and the last thing I want is shin splints, I’ve heard those are a nightmare for a runner. Hopefully, I will get out to a few more spin classes and try a few different machines at the gym. I’m the awkward introvert who doesn’t like talking to people or asking questions, so using new machines takes me a few minutes to figure it out, heh…

February 3 Run: 7:34 (m:ss), 1 km, 7’34″/km (Treadmill)

Well, there’s run streak 35 completed and I’m going to take a break for the sake of me… I don’t want to! I want to keep running but I guess I should listen to my body with all these new aches and pains that I haven’t had before.

rest-day-big-deal-running inspiration

rundmach

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Categories: blog | Tags: , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Accepting the Truth

  1. YES! Listen to your body, and if you need to break a streak for the sake of our body, then the streak shall be broken! I went about three days past when I should have stopped the last streak, and it cost me weeks of added recovery tine, so do what you feel because only you know what is right for you!

    I am very sorry for your loss, I know that when my grandma passed I was hoping and trying to bring family together for mutual support., but nobody else wanted to be a part..it was hard to deal with all by myself, but I did it because there was no other option,; you seem to be in the same place…believe that God is there for you, and He will provide the strength you need.

    I am struggling to break the post-marathon funk, and your posts and dedication are a great help to me, so know that however hard it is, someone else is fighting to, and you are helping them!

    • Thanks Nick! I’ve taken some time off and it was much needed especially with the emotional stress.
      You are absolutely right that it is very hard keep stay motivated at this time but we have to keep pushing on!

  2. It sounds like there are a lot of things getting you down and it’s hard to focus when we’re worried about multiple things. I don’t want to sound corny but when I’m like this I try and focus on one thing at a time otherwise I feel overwhelmed and everything gets on top of me.
    I can’t see you so I don’t find you as fat or thin and no matter what you look like please don’t feel people are judging you because of your weight – if they are, they’re not worth knowing.
    Listening to your body is the very best way to go πŸ˜‰

    I’m so sorry about your uncle and am sending you big hugs xxx

  3. Pam

    First of all I am very sorry for your loss!
    Listen to your body is important – we have all learned the hard way what happend when you don’t!!! And try to take the pressure of yourself because of the weightloss. One step after the other. A lot of babysteps get you as far as some big steps. XX

    • Thanks Pam! A little break has definitely felt good as I’m still all over the place but I’m doing much better now. πŸ™‚

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